And so it begins...again.

I found myself crying and laughing hysterically today.  It was really a lovely freeing feeling.  Lately I have been able to laugh or let go of things that might have taken me into despair previously.  --Thank you Zoloft. 

 

-The story behind the laughter: 

            I was innocently looking at my bank statements on line and noticed that there was a charge from Match.com.  Not only for August but June and July!  What?!!  And to think this whole time I just thought the universe was encouraging me to find my life path partner for free!  I called Match right away and questioned the billing for earlier months.  In the end, after speaking with the supervisor, it turns out I have been paying...are you ready for this?...I have been paying for match since September of 2009!  $35 every month for 2 freaking years!!  $840 people!  

The supervisor said I cannot be refunded however they can give me a 25% discount if I chose continue.  Tears, pissy, hilarity.  What can a girl do?  "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" she asked.  "No, I just hope I meet a man from all of this!".  To which she replied, "I don't know why you don't have one already, you are a very pretty girl."  Works every time ;)

 

After some thoughtful calculations I have decided to:

1.) Peruse my bank statements daily.  (peruse which by definition means:  to examine or consider with attention and in detail. Not the casual reading some mistake it for and which is not effective in checking bank statements for accuracy.)

2.) Go on 40 dates eating meals costing $20 a piece to make up for some of the expense.

3.) Find a man on Match that is worth more that $840 by the end of the month!

4.) And finally, continue to be vulnerable, admit my short-comings (they just make me human and aren't we all just spiritual beings having a human experience?)

 

As far as my date last night, let's call him "Omnivore"- he was not worth $840 from what I can tell.  Some of my favorite quotes:

"I don't eat red meat because of the deforestation"

"If people who eat regular potatoes knew how good sweet potatoes are for you I bet they would start eating sweet potatoes." (during which time he ate the entire large bowl of sweet potato fries sprinkled with brown sugar dipped in spicy mayo.  He does get props for putting one on my plate every few minutes)

"I am good at baseball and a phenomenal soccer player. My kids will start playing when they are 5 years old."

"I have a lot of non-traditional religious beliefs.  For one I don't believe in hell.  Sure we sin but God is way bigger than our little human mistakes, we are just one galaxy of thousands, do you think he cares if we steal a candy bar. Jesus is my savor and I believe that his values guide the whole world."

 

Let's see what "Mac and Cheese" guy brings tonight.