My collected works of the past month: Part Two

My future is looking bright.  And includes an older man by 5-6 years whose astrological sign is Capricorn who I will meet in February and marry in 2013.  At least that is what psychic Bob told me.  I love him.  I also love that my deceased grandmother told psychic Bob to tell me to "get out of your head!"  Sound advice Granny, thanks.  My only question is: does getting out of my head also mean enjoying time with some men before meeting my LPP in February?  Granny?

I say yes.  My counselor said to go ahead and enjoy some attention and flattery as long as I know that is all it is.  Not to be confused with love or connection. Done.  I have been flattered by a man who recently took me to dinner and then offered to massage my feet.  This made up slightly for the 5 men I interacted with the week before who ranged from 30-70 years of age but all had one thing in common: douchebag-ness.   It was pitiful, disappointing and unimpressive.  And I told them so.  It is true what they say about opening up to the laws of attraction.  Men will start to flock your way because they all hear the call, you just have to weed through them and focus on the goal.  One of my ex-boyfriends obviously has a keen sense of hearing.  Somehow he always texts me right before I meet someone new.  He texted me last week.  In closing, my future is looking bright.

Total: $160

Here's to February and all the good times in between!

P.S.-  I fear that a recent and intense spike in my libido will cause me to make decisions I would otherwise resist.  My deepest hope is that this is merely related to the excessive watching of Hallmark Holiday movies combined with my failure to take my meds this weekend.  In the mean time my mantra has been "take it to your vibrator".  Luckily there was a special on batteries at CVS last week.

© Uptown Girl 2011

My collected works of the past month: Part One

Changing the dating pattern!  I have successfully said, "no thank you".  Hopefully changing the course of events in my dating life for the better. Forever.  The drama that ensued post decline of dating services was like nothing I have ever witnessed or experienced, other than that "investment manager" who recently sent a 1600 word email to a first date that never returned his calls.  The moral of my story (which is maybe not worth going into fully but did overwhelm my phone's text receiving capabilities) is to trust my instincts.  When you think the man is a little effeminate for your taste, trust it.  He will potentially turn into a needy man that can't handle rejection well.  He may even proceed to text you the longest text you have ever gotten in your life about why you should give him a chance.  He might even call your friend and ask her why you won't go on a date with him.  Don't be surprised when he accidentally texts you instead of your friend about another girl.  OMG.  I conversed with the man for maybe 2 hours at a bar.  I mean, I am cute and fun but seriously?

Dating is risky business.  It is not to be taken lightly or to be attempted without a wing-woman to cover you. Said wing-woman must also have the skills and know-how to manage the man's insecurity for 24-48 hours post rejection even if she hardly knew him too.

My love and thanks to my wing woman for protecting me.  I would do the same for you in a heartbeat...but pray neither of us have to again!

Favorite quote from a well seasoned woman:
"You only need one. Percentage wise you have only scraped the surface.  Someone is looking for you too."

Total: $197
He did buy me a drink ...no...WAIT A MINUTE!  His friend bought me a drink! Uf!